Have your Cake
by thatblue
Summary: He looked light and boyish and she was afraid if he flirted anymore she might roll her eyes so hard she'd have to make a special trip to Ducky for treatment. He'd probably enjoy it, Ducky, probably would know exactly why she was sitting on his table with her eyes trying to see her own brain. ( Inspired by Gibbs flirting in My Other Left Foot.)
1. Chapter 1

"I can sample the frosting on a cake without leaving a fingerprint."

Kate's head jerked up at once, the words seeming to stretch out in the space between her and Gibbs and deliver a sort of Gibbs slap against her brain. She was rattled. She'd been largely just rolling her eyes at the giggles from inside the kitchen, when she was close enough to hear them. Now, well, she was just sort of hoping she could pull her face into a casually confused, not wildly jealous expression. She didn't have a mirror close by, but Kate would bet she wasn't succeeding.

She wondered how it would it feel to be inside that kitchen, standing in his path, with all his focus on her instead of Melissa. Kate wondered if the statement, the hunger she imagined in his words, would have left her speechless and without air, or if she would care about the lack of either with him so near.

Out here, Kate was contemplating cold showers, or demonstrations, and she wasn't even on the receiving end of what her mind had taken and twisted into a future fantasy.

She wasn't jealous, though.

Okay, so yeah, maybe Gibbs was actually pretty handsome if you could get past the whole second b business-and hadn't that just been the first thing Kate had accepted wholeheartedly. And sure, he smelled like some incredible mix of coffee and bourbon and something far too warm to be associated with Gibbs in the first place, unless you were lucky enough to know the man. He was her boss, her friend, not someone who she knew would probably be an incredible kisser if she ever found herself in the position to find out.

Oh, who was she kidding? She was a next level sort of jealous.

The very thought annoyed her, nagged inside her brain all the reasons she was so far beyond a high school style crush, but she still nearly stared when he directed his smile at her. He looked light and boyish and she was afraid if he flirted anymore she might roll her eyes so hard she'd have to make a special trip to Ducky for treatment. He'd probably enjoy it, Ducky, probably would know exactly why she was sitting on his table with her eyes trying to see her own brain. It wouldn't be their first conversation about Gibbs. She only needed to remember where she was standing, that she wasn't looking for a job, to know that the older man had guarded their conversations well.

Gibbs was in front of her before she could understand why he was moving, concern painted across his features, wrinkling up the corners of his eyes as they narrowed to study her. The smile had already faltered, now it had fallen and Kate felt remorse for its death. She wanted to back up, rewind the moment until she could figure out just what she had done that had sent him plummeting from on top of the world back to worrying about her, firmly on the ground. Or, rather, she was sort of in awe of how she could sway him so completely when his mind should still be on the woman who had just followed him from the kitchen.

"Kate?" he asked, reaching out and cupping her cheek, tilting her face to meet his eyes. The gesture took her by surprise, the very real worry she found there nearly shook her to her core. "Are you okay?"

Was she?

"Yes," she finally agreed, when her brain stopped scrambling over itself to locate where the words were kept, and she could manage anything more than an embarrassing sound passing over her lips. "Are we done here?"

The appraisal in his eyes returned, and she felt his mood shift again as he lowered his hand from her cheek. Concern was traded for something a lot closer to amusement, and she was somewhere between grateful and upset that he wasn't looking at her so intently any longer.

Gibbs stepped back, out of her space, and spun away from her. He headed for the door, but not before flashing her a grin over his shoulder. She considered slapping him for a moment, she really did. But she was sort of love heavy and infatuated at the moment and it would have to wait until one of those passed before she could manage such a task.

He walked outside, without so much as giving Melissa another glance, without a hint of goodbye. The darker part of Kate, that she didn't often indulge in, was pleased and considering doing a happy dance with the imagined little devil on her shoulder.

Kate managed to keep her mouth closed until they were outside, and sort of blindly hoped there was some way to approach this without his legendary investigation skills and famous gut realizing that she was probably more than a little unprofessionally concerned about where his flirting happened to be landing.

It seemed doubtful at best, but her mind was all too willing to approach this future crash full steam ahead.

"You weren't buying any of that were you?" she asked, glancing at him.

Gibbs succeeded at not looking smug for about three seconds before it fell over his face, and he smiled the smile that she was fairly sure could get him the world- at least her whole world

"Any of what?" he asked, looking at her.

Damn him, he was having fun. It was almost enough to render her speechless, unwilling to be the one to steal the joy from his eyes or pull the playfulness from his words. As often as he was like this when they were alone, Gibbs was sort of...well, unpredictable.

"You know her...charm," she finally decided on.

That was casual, concerned only for his welfare, right? His grin suggested he knew too much, or maybe he just really was happy, and he wasn't going to let Kate take it from him this time.

If anything, that smile grew. It was infuriating, in that she couldn't tug him to her and press her lips against his to see if they'd burn the world down together. He was her boss, he had those rules, and while sometimes she thought he might overstep them, other times he snubbed her so hard she was sure she had only imagined it all in the first place.

"Is it really that hard to believe, Kate, that I might be attractive to a woman," he asked.

She didn't see the shrug, but it was there, in his voice. He'd found casual, she was the only one bobbing alone in confusion and love and lust it seemed.

But no, Gibbs, it wasn't. It was actually because she was on the losing side of loving him, and fantasizing about him when she fell into her bed most nights, that she knew that it wasn't actually hard to believe at all. That was the problem, really.

She saw far too often the looks women threw his way, and while most of the time he seemed about as influenced as a rock would be, once in a while he gave as good as he got. Those times, Kate thought about slugging them both for making her remember just how unlikely it was she would ever be able to receive the fullness of Gibbs' affection and attention. The sort he would give to someone that wasn't an agent, a subordinate.

Kate climbed into the car, and looked out the window, letting Gibbs' hate of small talk silence her into thought. She would not trade the job for the man, not even now. She was glad she had come, glad she had stayed, but that didn't mean it wasn't getting harder every day to never take another step towards the man-any stumbling and falling be damned in the end.

If only she could-no she wouldn't think of cake- if only she could have Gibbs and _have_ Gibbs, she might not actually go mad working with him.

Even now, as he caught her eye and smiled, she knew it was likely never going to be happen.

She might be willing to lean over that line he had drawn, that she had agreed to with silence in too many moments, but Gibbs, well he wasn't one to bend.

 **Gibbs**

Kate had sounded jealous.

Gibbs dropped his sandpaper on his table, needing to think deeper on the subject and unable to think of anything else. He scrubbed a dusty hand over his face, trying not realize how much trouble he might be with Kate as a whole.

He'd been certain, earlier, that she had been jealous of his flirting with Melissa. That maybe she'd react, make a move, something that would finally make it clear if he had permission to destroy his own line in the sand with any means possible. She didn't, and he didn't.

He thought back to the house, to the way he let his eyes slide over the woman in front of him, while his mind was so steadily focused on the movements of Kate in the other room. It wasn't an accident that his admission, the one that Melissa had seemed very interested in, had only come when Kate was back close enough to hear.

Had Kate heard him, though, was she listening to his words? Because they sure as hell weren't for Melissa, even murder suspect aside, Kate had been the focus of his flirting for far long than he was willing to admit. He thought of her as it slipped from his lips, and it was so easy to honestly say whatever came into his head, when it was her smile he was picturing flashing back at him.

Kate was his motivation for a lot of things these days, and she probably wouldn't approve of at least half.

Gibbs couldn't help but wonder what Kate would do if he let her in on the secret, if he had pulled her in instead of laughing her off. If when they were outside, he'd dared to take a stupid risk and press his lips to hers. That was the sort of Gibbs he used to be, not caring if the road turned sharply tomorrow and they both drove off. Messy endings didn't spoil the fun, not like they used to. Kate was bigger than that, though, bigger than his own wants or needs.

This wasn't about rules anymore, or what was proper-Kate had won out against all of that a long time ago- that wasn't what stilled his hands from running the course of her and broke his heart these days at all.

The only thing that kept Gibbs from admitting everything to Kate, was fear. It was the thought that Kate couldn't, wouldn't respond well to his advances. If keeping her as his friend was the only way to keep her at all, he'd glue his mouth shut until time ran out to say anything. He was good at being his own worst enemy, the very best he knew.

Sleep seemed like the only option now. There, at least, anything was still possible for him. There, many things had already been done. His smile was involuntary as he climbed the stairs, but he let it linger anyway. He didn't pause by his bedroom, wasn't going to let dreams of Kate be tainted by a past he couldn't change, and instead threw himself onto the couch.

Gibbs buried his face into the pillow, letting the warmth from the fire thaw him out a little. Maybe after some sleep, after he dreamed of a world where he could show Kate exactly how much he wanted and needed her, he'd be able to face his fear tomorrow.

Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I had only intended for this to be two chapters, but it wasn't willing to end there, so there will be one more to come.**

In the end, it came down to Kate. She was always a _go big or go home_ girl and she wasn't about to start doing things halfway just because she was in love.

The problem was, after all but admitting her boss crush to Tony-whose face had landed somewhere in the intersection of disbelief and horror (probably because it wasn't Tony she was actually lusting after in the first place)- she realized that there was not going to be any going big with Gibbs. He wasn't going to give, wasn't even going to let her peek at the answer sheet for all the questions he had laid between them all these months. She'd tried, and now she was done. Kate was getting pretty good at knowing when to call it a loss.

She was tired of waiting for something to break, tired of sitting stagnant while others around her flashed about and moved on with their lives. Dean, well he wasn't Gibbs, that was easy to see even without a second glance. He was, however, everything she would have looked for before _'ass'_ had somehow slipped in unnoticed and became her type. Dean would be a pleasant date, a nice way to escape for an evening, even if it led them no farther. It was a start.

A date was better than calling a night of bad television and going to bed early a case, and so much better than letting herself pretend for another moment there was any chance with Gibbs. The dress, however, might have been too much of a concession to just how poorly her mind was taking this new resolution. She'd set out to feel a change, something real, something outside of what Kate dragged herself to work in each day. This dress though, well, it was tight and black and clung to the skin it did actually manage to cover.

Kate hovered between embarrassment and resolve as she smoothed down the front, and studied her reflection. It wasn't a dress for a first date- at least not a first date she would normally be attending- but she needed this. She needed to know she could turn heads (just not the one she wanted it seemed) and that was enough for right now. It gave her the courage, for just one night she'd embrace what she had, as Tony had suggested on at least a thousand occasions. The thought drove her feet, and she opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the already thinned out office. Thank God for Fridays. This was hard enough with just Gibbs and Tony to bypass.

Her work clothes were folded up and tucked neatly into her bag, the only cover she had was sitting on the back of her chair-a coat that wouldn't actually cover near enough to kill the embarrassment if they did give her a second glance. Tony had been distracted all day-some weekend trip he had been planning loudly all week- and Gibbs had been as interested in her or Tony as he was interested in tofu in general, so she might just be able to avoid melting into a puddle of mortification if they maintained their courses.

"Kate, I-" Tony started, peeking around the corner at her, before he blinked a few times and the words seemed to have forgotten the short path out of his mouth.

She thought about avoiding his eyes, nearly regretting the dress. It was clearly so out of character that she had short circuited her friend's brain, and it had her wanting to cover up before Gibbs could witness the rebellious side she couldn't quite stamp out. Still, if she didn't look at Tony she couldn't stop the comments before they finally reached outside of his brain. She very much needed to stop those comments, so she didn't run and change.

She paused by his desk, looking him over. He was straddling the line between looking and leering, and she wondered if she felt up to slapping him when he fell over it. Instead, though, his eyes darted up to hers and held themselves there.

"Tony?" she asked, slowly sliding her bag up to cover as much of the front of her as it could manage.

"Right," he said, shaking his head, and turning from her. "Gibbs was looking for you. Be happy to see you too, I'll bet."

The last line had been almost a whisper. If Kate had been moving away, she would have missed it. The thought warmed her, even as she reached for her coat and tugged it over her arms and wrapped it around her middle.

Tony turned quickly, digging in the file cabinet, studying it with such an intensity that Kate was concerned before she heard movement to her right. Gibbs was heading around the corner, with his ever present cup of coffee tucked safely into his hand. He walked right by her, focused on something she couldn't see.

"Kate," he said, nodding.

He nearly made it to his desk, Kate was nearly able to exhale the breath she had drawn in so sharply, when he stopped suddenly. He looked down at his coffee, took a long drink, and then a long breath before he turned back to her.

"You were looking for me?" she asked.

She was trying for confidence, the sort that she would normally have if he didn't look a bit choked and she was a little more clothed. She was trying, but she was fairly sure it came out borderline, well...anything but confident. Breathy and wanting was probably closer to what she managed.

He drew his eyes down over body, over the coat that covered the top half before meeting the legs that were largely bare. She'd like to pretend his eyes weren't dark when they quickly found hers again, but Kate wasn't big on lying.

"Gibbs?" she asked, before running her tongue over her lips. His eyes seemed to darken farther at the movement, and it was suddenly way too warm for the coat, but she suspected taking it off now wasn't going to do them any favors. Unless making, what was presumably a huge mistake on an office desk, was now a favor.

The files,' he started, then shook his head. "Do you have a date, Kate?"

Kate blinked at Gibbs' question. Befuddling him for a moment, well that, Kate could believe. Driving Gibbs to question, or even care about what she was doing with her weekend was another thing altogether.

She was tempted not to believe her ears, it would be an easy mistake with the whooshing sound of her own pulse in them, with Gibbs looking at her like that. However, Tony had jerked a look in Gibbs' directions at the words, the wonder. He was staring at Gibbs' back with that same horrified look he had graced Kate with when she had admitted her half of-well, there was no name for whatever mess they were in-this thing with Gibbs. Gibbs had to feel his eyes on his back, shooting questions into his spine, but Gibbs' focus remained on her alone.

"Yes," she said, nodding after a moment and folding the coat around her a little more in the hope that he might look away so she could think properly again. "The files, Gibbs?"

"Where did you-" he started, then swallowed a couple times. "With who, Katie?"

"Gibbs!" she growled out, unable to remind herself why she wanted to fall out of love with him in the first place.

He said nothing, looking like he wanted to do unmentionable things to her, and Kate couldn't help but think of the cake comments that had started this current standoff, and this wasn't helping her let him go. He had never looked so sexy, eyes full of want and breathing slow and measured. If it lasted too much longer, she was going to cross a line, and she suspected for at least part of this Gibbs would be all too willing to let Tony wear the horrified expression for the rest of his life.

Then the moment was gone, and he was turning, in a flip of sensations that would have caused something in her to break if she had initiated it. She'd always taken the straight road with this...crush? Not honest, but straight. She was crazy about Gibbs, sort of going crazy in general about Gibbs, but there was no hot and cold to worry about. It was always hot. It was a lot harder, probably way more detectable, but it was go big or go home after all.

"Go on, Kate," he said, softly, calmly. "Enjoy your date. Files will keep."

Kate watched him for a moment, before she realized that was it. Whatever he had felt for her had passed, and she turned, gathering up her supplies.

Tony gave her a sympathetic look, her friend in the end no matter what, and she headed out knowing that this was for the best. Kate Todd was not about to start settling for halfway, for second best. She'd have _all_ of Gibbs, or she'd have none of him.

 **Gibbs**

Kate probably wasn't home, Gibbs reasoned, as he climbed the stairs to her apartment. The doorman hadn't given any indication either way, was really quite lousy as a doorman -Gibbs would have to mention security to Kate, sometime after he stopped trying to use it to his advantage- but Gibbs was still heading up anyway. She might be home, but not alone, which seemed worse. He didn't want to catch sight of some other man, standing in Kate's apartment, and pretend that he wasn't there in the hopes that it could be him instead.

He'd had bourbon courage, rallying his thoughts inside his head, but between the walk and deciding to take the stairs he had finally made it back to mostly sober. It was harder not to worry, harder not to shove himself back away, but he had so much time he wanted to make up for, if she might allow it, and he wanted to remember every moment with Kate until his last moment.

Seeing her in that dress, how her eyes had taken him in, he had decided he was tired of running. _Well_ , at first he was simply going to let her go. He was going to let her find someone who could make her happy, before a long talk with Tony and a bit more to drink than he should have, made him wonder why the hell that couldn't be him.

No, Gibbs wouldn't be changing overnight. He wasn't about to be softness, or easy, but he would love her the best way he knew how. He'd love Kate with every fiber of his being, and he hoped that if he let her in, she could bring more smiles to his life than just the ones she pulled from him at work. Maybe Gibbs could remember what happy felt like.

Gibbs arrived at her door, leaning in and hoping to hear the sounds of a TV, or Kate moving about but he was greeted only with silence. He let out a slow breath, wondering why he hadn't pulled her into the elevator while he had the chance and asked for a spot in her heart and her life, instead of letting her walk away. That dress, _her_ in anything really, was nearly enough to bring him to his knees anyway, or at least one of them.

He was head over heels in love with Kate Todd, and he was tired of pretending he was above it.

Gibbs knocked, loudly. He waited, breath exhaling against her door, hoping. He didn't hear any indication she was coming to meet him, or that there was any hope his stubbornness hadn't burned him again in the end.

Gibbs knocked louder still, didn't even consider how late it might actually be until he saw the door down the hall open a crack. An older woman peeked her head out, studying him intently.

He gave a small awkward wave.

"I'm trying to watch my shows," she said, glaring at him.

"Sorry," he said, at once.

The words had left his mouth before he thought of rules, or principles and he was very glad suddenly that Kate hadn't opened her door to witness this moment. He cleared his throat and turned back to Kate's door, lifting his hand to knock again, softer this time. He'd pick the lock, just to escape, if he didn't know the older lady would call the cops. That would be a fun one to explain away to Kate the next time he saw her.

"She's not home," the woman said. "Out with some hunk." Her eyes slid over him, and Gibbs felt something close to embarrassment flood him. "Not like you though. Want to come in?"

Gibbs coughed, shaking his head, and giving her what he hoped was a smile.

"No, thanks," he said, words he wasn't used to saying pouring out his mouth in his attempt to flee. "I'll let ya, uh...get back to your shows."

She shrugged, white hair disappearing back inside as the door closed. He heard the lock slide into place and only then did he turn back to the elevator, jabbing at the button. He willed it to come faster, to take him away from his disappointment, and from Kate's neighbor in nearly equal measures at the moment.

Gibbs stepped into the elevator, leaning against the side when the doors finally slid shut again. Gibbs glanced down at his watch _.0200_ Well, that left no doubt in his mind that Kate was still out enjoying her date and he had ruined another chance to make a move. Gibbs sort of hated himself most days, tonight it was easily doubled.

He stepped out into the cold air, as felt his phone vibrate inside his coat pocket. No good call had ever come at 0200, from work or from his personal life, and he yanked it out to check the caller ID. His stomach dropped farther, and his fingers opened it quickly, pressing it to his ear.

"Kate?" he asked. There was a shuffling sound, followed by a sharp whimper. He shoved his hand into his pocket, digging for keys before remembering he hadn't driven here at all. "Kate, are you okay? Talk to me? Where are you?"

There was another whimper, softer, followed by a sniffle. The fact that she wasn't talking was conjuring up every image of Kate that only belonged in the worst of his nightmares.

"Kate, please," he whispered, looking both ways for a cab, for a ride he could _borrow_ to reach her.

"Gibbs," She finally said, followed by another sniffle. "I need your help."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This was going to be the final chapter, it really was, but these two wouldn't shut up. On the plus side, it gives me a reason to stick around, I guess, until it's finished. So, there is more to come, not sure how much, but there will be more.**

So, maybe Kate didn't really hate Gibbs (wasn't even sure it was a possibility at this point) for not showing up any faster, but she was feeling more angry and embarrassed by the moment. She had, at least, finally made it to the bench in the middle of the parking lot. There had been no way, in any form of hell, that Gibbs was going to find her at the bottom of the hill she had rolled down when she had slipped off the path she was running.

Calling Gibbs though, that was a dangerous sort of autopilot, the sort that also sought out his eyes first when she felt fear winning. He'd become her resolve, more often than not, the rock she'd crash into if it kept her from drowning. Tony's number was tucked inside her phone too, but his name wasn't the first one into her head while she gripped the bench and waited for the pain to recede even a little. There was probably something to that.

If she had to, under the influence of something akin to torture probably, Kate would admit that it had been stupid to come here so late at night. Logic, however, had taken a fatal blow against the need to drive Gibbs and the mess Dean had turned out to be, far from her head. The only way she knew how to accomplish something as impossible as forgetting, was to run. She needed the sound of her feet against the path, the air so cold it burned, taking up space inside her lungs to replace actual, you know, _feelings._ It had worked, too. Until she had been a little too distracted(She would not, even under torture, admit to thinking about Gibbs) and a _probably shouldn't do this_ , had turned into an actual mistake. One that hurt, a lot, and continued to hurt with every careful breath she drew in.

What she really, _really_ needed, was for Gibbs to just get here. And seriously, how many times had he had her almost clutching the door of the car while he tested how fast he could drive without killing them all? It left Kate wondering if she had interrupted something by asking him to come here. A date? He hadn't said anything about a date-and this was so not the time to be getting jealous over fictitious girlfriends. _Come on, Gibbs._

Finally, headlights flashed over her, as a car turned into the parking lot. She let out an achy breath of relief, before seeing that it wasn't Gibbs' car at all, but a taxi. In a better position, if willpower alone could overcome the actual physical inability to stand up(of course if willpower could do that, she would have driven herself home anyway) she would go to meet the taxi halfway. It had better be Gibbs, because if it was anyone else, she might just be tempted to draw her gun in annoyance. Not that she would shoot them, of course, but she wasn't against scaring them in the mood she was in. Her breath puffed out in front of her, as she was forced to wait as the car rolled to a stop before her and the back door opened up quickly.

From inside the taxi, she could just make out Gibbs' low voice, and saw him pass money over the seat as he was climbing out. He turned, heading over to her at once, at a speed that seemed to be trying to make up for the time that had kept him from getting to her. In an ideal world, she'd be able to hang onto her pride, pretend she was okay. Then he could lay his anger over her, and she would take it silently, because she was just so very glad he came.

He looked her over, as he stepped into the light. His face was tight, tension clear in the way his shoulders were drawn up. Did he need reassurance, should she offer?

"I'm alright, Gibbs," she said, as he started digging into his pocket. So much for thinking her words over carefully.

He pulled out a flashlight, as the cab pulled a little away and the parking lights came on. He had asked them to wait? Should she point out how close her car was?

"Kate," he said, flicking the light on and leaning over to look her over.

"Gibbs," she said, shaking her head. "I'm alright, sorry. I just fell, and I'm a bit banged up, and I can't really drive. Do you think you could use my car to give me a lift?"

"What's hurt?" Gibbs asked, running the light down over her body. "God, Kate, you scared me."

She had opened her mouth to answer him, to tell him what was hurt so they could get this part of the evening over with. She should have known he'd want to see, to assess for himself if she needed to see a doctor and likely wouldn't take no for an answer if he decided she did. Kate was, however, thrown off by his words. Realistically, she knew Gibbs got scared. It would be hard not to in their line of work, with the things he had seen, even for such a hardened Marine. However, he wasn't the sort to share it, admit it, and definitely not look at her so tenderly as if he had no choice but to admit in the face of said fear.

When she didn't answer, which was hardly fair after words like that had fallen from his lips, she found his thumb drawing up her eyelid and the light being flashed into her eye.

"Gibbs," She said, letting out a breath and then a whimper as she jerked her head away. She saw his jaw tighten, his lips go thin and allowed him to check the other one silently. It hurt her ribs too much to fight him anyway.

"My head is fine,' she said, looking up at him. "Honestly, I just need a ride...and maybe some help to get inside."

She'd hoped that he'd just help her up, do what she asked, but wasn't at all surprised when instead his gaze remained fixed on her.

"What else, Kate?"

She sighed, debated lying, and then decided it wasn't worth the effort. He'd just know anyway.

"My ankle and wrist hurt a bit," she all but muttered.

He squatted quickly, tucking the flashlight in between his teeth and holding out a hand to her. She paused, before slowly lifting her arm and settling it down into his palm.

Her leg might have jerked in his direction when his cold fingers made contact with the swollen skin of her wrist, but she probably didn't actually kick him. He didn't seem to falter in his balance, and hadn't actually sent a glare up at her. She figured that meant she was in the clear. He moved his fingers over the skin, the bones, prodding so carefully she knew he was trying to spare her pain that couldn't be avoided. She focused her breathing instead, trying to keep her face passive.

The hand was lowered back into her lap, and he took the flashlight out of his mouth for a moment.

"Don't think it's broken," he said. "But you ought to have an x-ray."

"I'm fine," she insisted(maybe if she said it a few dozen more times, it might become a truth) but he was already ignoring her in favor of reaching for her ankle instead. The same soft touch followed, causing her less pain this time at least.

"We're takin' you by the hospital," he said, before standing up. She opened her mouth, and he shut it again with a firm look

 _Damn him._

Obedience was automatic, despite how often she did actually argue with him in their job. If Gibbs said to do something, set you in that gaze of his, you just did it-trusting and hoping he knew what was best (and he usually did). She didn't want to go to the hospital, but as he wrapped her good arm over his strong shoulders, her anger faded away. He managed to take most of her weight away from her, as well as avoiding the pain in her side she hadn't mentioned.

Kate was pretty touched he had come for her, that he had shown how much he was worried, and she supposed to would be good to be certain nothing was broken from her fall.

He waved the cab driver off who had been waiting, slipped his hand in her coat pocket to grab her keys, and started them off towards her car.

"Gibbs?" she asked, trying to focus on anything but the distance she had to try to hop.

"Yeah, Kate?" he said, after a moment. He didn't look over, kept staring at her car as if he was the one in agony instead of her.

"I'm sorry I worried you," she said, ducking her head.

Tears were coming, the exhaustion of being in so much pain and the late hour crashing over her. She wouldn't let him see her cry though, not after all that he had already seen. She bit them back, digging her teeth into her lip until she had regained control of her emotions and they had somehow managed to round the passenger side of her car.

He shook his head, gave a shrug that she felt rather than saw, and she didn't offer anything else. What was there to say to the man who avoided words by habit? Gibbs unlocked the door with ease, still keeping his tight grip on her, and then carefully worked her inside. Maybe she imagined it, but it seemed like his hands skimmed over more of her than was necessary, drawing a wince as they brushed her ribs (in reality, he was probably still examining her) but she met his eye and he gave another shrug. After a moment he shut the door and she was quick to lay her head against it. Gibbs slid in behind her wheel, into her seat, and she was struck with how odd and how right it felt to have him in her world, instead of spending all her time in his. It was a little nice, despite the circumstances.

 **Gibbs**

Kate looked decidedly dopey when they wheeled her back out to him. He'd been busy, not at all pacing the waiting room in his worry. He'd been damn near terrified when she had called, and now looking at her he felt a bit stupid and then doubly so for admitting his fear to Kate directly. Sure, she was hurt. The doctor, however, had already given him a report (possibly after he claimed to be her fiancé, Kate probably never needed to know about that) and she was okay. Kate had a sprained wrist and ankle, and her ribs had taken quite a beating, but she was okay. His Kate, well, he'd just stick to thanking everything that might still be willing to listen to a bitter old man, that she was only drugged out of her head, instead of something much worse.

Kate was staring at him so intently, only half of her smile seemed to be working, but it was firmly locked into place. She looked amused, and happy, and a lot like a woman in love and he couldn't take that seriously while she was so out of it, but he sure wanted to.

"Let's get you home, Kate," he said, brushing hair away from her face, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of her head.

She probably wouldn't remember this anyway, he could afford a little extra affection. Good to play the part anyway, and his hands didn't seem to want to stay at his side now that she was so close to him again.

"Do'tor said-" she started, and then started up at him. "Not 'lone."

"My place, Kate," he said, gently. "I'll go get the car."

He headed out, driving Kate's car back around to park in front of the emergency room. The nurse stood guard, watching Kate, but Kate only had eyes for him, even as he helped her out of the chair and into the car. The actual goal here, was to touch her less this time-but Kate didn't seem to be overly invested in his goal. She reached up, running her fingers over his scalp and down his face. Her fingers ran over his neck, and she smiled crookedly at the way he swallowed hard against her touch.

"I got a secret," she said, the slur in her voice almost too much for him to be able to translate.

"Do you?" he asked, pushing her uninjured hand away, _again_ , as he tried to buckle her in.

She really was being quite a nuisance, and he was grateful the nurse had given up and left him to deal with her alone. Still, he found himself smiling, as she nodded and tried to lean in close again. He clicked the buckle, leaning up out of her touch and knowing exactly why his short supply of patience had suddenly found itself limitless. Gibbs had it bad, even his frustration became confused and gave up at the absolute joy he felt around her. He'd be lying if he didn't say he felt pretty lucky too, Kate let them make her weak, as high as a kite, knowing he would be the one to hold the string tightly enough she wouldn't float away.

"Yup," she said, grinning. He closed the door softly, and she leaned back against it at once.

He drove her home, or rather _his_ house, obeying the speed limit to a fault. Her breathing was deep, fogging up the glass on her exhale, and he swallowed hard and reached out. He only wanted to touch her hand, her face, to feel that she was really right here and not just some dream he might wake up from. The thought of stealing a moment from her, affection that she couldn't deny was enough to make him recoil. Gibbs scrubbed the reaching hand down his face, and then focused on nothing but the road until he could park out front.

Gibbs shut off the car, feeling like an absolute idiot for being so awkward in this situation. He turned towards Kate, watching her look so at peace for a long moment. He wished she could look like that forever, even while he knew they'd both miss all her other expressions. Was it too much to want to make sure she felt safe and loved forever, while also wanting her to call him whatever came into her mind, and never hold back in what she thought? Could that work?

He sighed, leaning in a little closer to her.

"Kate?" he asked, softly. When she didn't shift, didn't acknowledge him at all, he reached out and touched her shoulder, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "Katie? You need to wake up. Gotta get you inside."

Her response was a soft noise of protest, and a halfhearted attempt to brush his hand away from her. He withdrew it anyway, and looked from her to his front door in the distance. He wasn't against carrying her inside, and up to his bed, not at all. Gibbs could think of far worse things than Kate in his arms, but it did come with a few complications. The most likely being her waking up halfway, cuffing his head for presuming that she needed to be carried in the first place.

"Kate," he said, a little louder a little firmer. "Get up. Inside."

"Shhh," she said, shifting against the window and settling again

He wasn't going to let her lay against a window all night just because she turned him so unsure of himself. Gibbs unbuckled her, sliding the belt over and under her head as he shifted her away from the glass. The embrace was only one of convenience, to pull her away from the door that he was about to try to open. Kate took it as an invitation, turning and letting out a happy little noise as she snuggled into his chest instead.

"Kate?" he asked, swallowing a couple times.

Why was she so touchy? And why couldn't he bring himself to make it stop?

"Gotta let you go, sweetheart," he muttered, shaking his head at the term of endearment. She had him shedding his armor without even trying, going all soft just because he found himself with an armful of such goodness and hope that he had come to know as Kate.

She wrapped a hand into his shirt, and he just... _stopped_. He just let her stay snuggled up to him, while he sat uncomfortable and half twisted and a whole jumble of emotions. He was floored, and it had been what felt like a lifetime since he had felt so damn lucky. Men like him, didn't get this sort of second chance, didn't get to feel like this twice in a lifetime.

After a few more moments, when he thought she was out enough again, he carefully worked her fingers free and settled her against the seat again. His chest felt colder, his arms cold and far too empty, but he would be remedying that soon enough. Gibbs climbed out, hurrying around to Kate's side of the car and opened up her door.

"Gonna carry you, Kate," he whispered, sliding his arm carefully up under her legs and the other back up under her back.

It was awkward, and while he didn't lack strength (and she was plenty light enough) he wasn't twenty or even thirty anymore. It took a few moments until he could slide her out of the narrow space and shift her enough he found his balance again. She snuggled back into his chest at once, as if it was the place in the world she truly belonged (It was hers, she could have it) and he kicked the door shut behind him.

Gibbs was thankful for the late hour, though the neighbors had probably seen far more disturbing things than Gibbs carrying a woman to his front door. Still, no one peeping out was one less thing to worry about. He shifted her, fingers finding the door handle and it turned with ease. Gibbs was extra thankful he didn't lock his door right now, as he settled Kate's weight back down where it belonged and stepped into the entryway.

He had just kicked the door shut when heard her sharp intake of breath. Gibbs cursed under his breath, that he had been so loud to wake her, and that _now_ she was waking after he tried in the car to spare them this not entirely unwanted moment.

He stopped moving, looking down at her. She was yawning, rubbing at her eyes a little sloppily with her good hand, and then looking up at him.

"Gibbs?" she asked, tilting her head to look away from him and into his home. It was clean, right? He wasn't exactly a messy person, but now he didn't feel so certain. "What're we doin'?"

"Takin' you to bed, Kate," he said, and her head jerked back up towards him.

She blinked, and he blinked. Of all the ways he could have said that...

"For sleep," he explained, and she nodded at once. "You gotta sleep."

"Oh," she said, her voice thick. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him, before shoving her tongue out and that same suspicious glare was directed at it. He bit back a smile. She drew it back into her mouth after a moment, and settled her cheek back over his chest. "'kay, Gibbsy Gibbs."

Gibbsy Gibbs? Yeah, she really had to sleep now. She would shoot him in the morning for not stopping her words, her playfulness, most likely. He didn't want to, so certain he'd never get the chance to see her like this again, and he couldn't help but enjoy it with a small smile he hoped she wouldn't notice.

"Like you," she said, yawning again. "Lots."

"I, uh, I like you too, Kate," he said, clearing his throat and walking again.

The sooner he got her upstairs, and to his bed, the sooner she could fall back asleep and he could go back to pretending he was unaffected by her.

"Lots?" she asked, and the crooked smile was back and if he wasn't so sure she was still doped up, he'd think maybe she was actually teasing him. That she was actually looking for a confession. Well, he'd had to confess to far worse than this.

"Lots," he agreed, arriving at his door and nudging it open with his foot.

He walked her over to the bed, setting her down gently. She let out a huffing noise, but quickly rolled over and settled against his pillows. Gibbs gave his arms a stretch, and then leaned down, pulling the folded blanket from the foot of his bed. He unfolded it, eyes on her the entire time, as he laid it out over her. He never imagined he'd get Kate into his bed, and the very first time (hopefully not the last) he wouldn't even let himself be near her. Instead, he moved over to the chair in the corner, and slid down into it.

He forced his eyes to close, knowing that he was just going to see that crooked smile and those maddening dimples in his mind anyway.

"Scared me, Kate," he admitted to the night. "Not somethin' I can lose."

He peeked at her, her eyes still closed, her breathing still even. It would be so easy to admit a few little words she wouldn't be able to hear, but he knew that if he did it there was no going back. He would do anything to make Kate his, if he let himself give in, and this wasn't the time to think about anything but her comfort and safety.

He settled back, and hoped maybe they both would be a lot more clearheaded when they woke.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Despite my best efforts, and several rewrites, this chapter is apparently doomed to never live up to what it could be in my head. Still, I hope it doesn't fall too short, and you are able to still enjoy it. There will be probably one more, the plan is one more anyway.**

He had given up fighting exhaustion-traded the real version of Kate for the dream one-somewhere in the early morning hours, before the sun had risen. His intention was to stay awake, in case she needed something( _needed him_ ), but that quickly crashed and burned as all too often happened with his intentions. It was only too easy to give in with her here, with the sound of her soft breathing acting as lullaby he would never admit to needing. Knowing she was safe, that she was within reach, made the lonely little ache he carried around a little less obvious and he let the hours crawl away from him until her heard her whimper.

The noise was so soft, so full of pain, that it triggered every protective response inside of Gibbs. That noise, it reached down into him, yanking him back to reality at a speed that nearly left him breathless. He never wanted her to have to make it again, would do anything to keep her safe, if she'd just never make that noise again.

"Kate?" he asked, blinking a few times, until his vision cleared enough he could see her.

She was sitting up, the blanket he had laid over her was now tangled around her legs, and she had her good arm wrapped around her middle. She was breathing quickly, shallowly, her face pale and drawn up tight. Gibbs was moving at once, standing beside the bed. It took a moment to convince himself that it was okay, needed even, but then he lowered himself down beside her. Reaching out, he laid his hand softly against her back. She didn't react, didn't try to push him away, instead her eyes met his. They were wide and showed a fear that he didn't know how to handle outside of a trusted sort of autopilot he'd found along the years.

"Easy, just breathe," he said, moving his hand in slow circles over her spine. "Breathe through it. You're gonna be okay."

It took far longer than he would have wanted, but at last Kate seemed to get the better hold on her pain, and she sagged into him when she did. He adjusted, pulling her closer, wrapping his arm around her back. She wasn't exactly snuggling as she had been last night, more like using him to keep herself from actually falling over, but it felt nice all the same. He looked down at her, hair mussed from sleep, face resting against him.

She was just so... _beautiful_ , so strong, despite everything she had been through in the last twenty-four hours-the changes she had undergone the last few months. Everything about her now was pulling on some strings that had been threatening to unravel for quite some time. He needed them though, to hold a little tighter, to keep his sanity wrapped up. He needed them, so he could remember she wasn't actually his to hold like this.

"Sorry," she muttered, twisting her head to ghost her breath across his chest, through his shirt, before leaning up and out his touch.

Her pulling away wasn't surprising, but he still wondered if her brain had sent the same memo about him being her boss, not her boyfriend _. Damn logic._

"Did you need something, Kate?" he asked, letting his hand fall to the bed behind her. "Something for the pain?"

"Yeah," she agreed, quickly. "But first, I really need the bathroom."

He shifted down the bed, helping her untangle her feet gently. It had all been so easy last night, when she was so far out of her head, when he was doing what he would do for any member of his team (Well, mostly. He was fairly sure he _wouldn't_ have carried Tony up to his bed) but the rest was only natural. Coddling however, playing nursemaid, wasn't exactly something that came second nature to Gibbs. Even at his best, it had only really been reserved for two people in the whole universe.

Where the night time had laid him bare, especially when she wasn't an observant witness, the day time always closed him up tightly. He looked Kate over now, and was certain they both knew that even if she could manage it alone (and he didn't for a second believe she wouldn't do it just to prove him wrong) she would be in agony again by the time she reached the bathroom. Awkwardness aside, it was just plain stupid not to help her.

"Come on," he said, reaching out for her.

"Gibbs!" she said, leaning away. "I'm fine. I don't need help."

His eyes flickered over the tightness of her jaw, and found his own clenching in response. On any other day, in so many memories he had already allowed himself to make, her stubbornness was just another thing about her he had found to love. This morning, while it was causing her pain that was in turn causing him pain, he wasn't in the mood to let it linger.

"It's not like I wanna watch, Kate," he said, firmly. "Be smart."

He hadn't intended to say it so sharply. Pulling her up as gently as he could manage, while she didn't resist at all, he felt guilt in record speed. He tried to soften the words by stroking his thumb over her lower back, taking on as much of her weight as she'd allow, and somehow trusting that Kate would forgive him anyway. Where bastard was where he often fell, Kate found grace, found forgiveness for 'sorry's that he never quite managed to say.

He left her leaning against the counter, fully aware that he had already overstayed his welcome (in his own bathroom), the second he had set foot in it. While she took care of business, he hurried downstairs, grabbing her prescription bottle and an over the counter pain reliever. He'd let her take whatever she needed, but while she was cute and foggy last night he didn't exactly relish a day of trying to watch how touchy she got and what she might get him to admit with so many hours to do it. He heard the bathroom door open, as he was filling a large glass with water and let out a small growl.

Gibbs wasn't sure what he would do if he found her trying to get down the stairs, but he knew he didn't want to find out. He hurried back for the stairs, seeing her at the top, sitting there and looking at him expectantly. He almost let out a relieved laugh. Gibbs climbed the stairs, water in one hand and the two bottles in the other.

"Fine, maybe I need a little help," she said, when he had reached her.

She wasn't stupid, of course. It was just that admitting it was costing her a great deal, and he could understand that sort of price. He wasn't about to rub it in, not when she didn't take him down for all his faults every chance she got. Gibbs knew, with the way he knew when someone had blood on their hands, that Kate had been able to read him since day one. With anyone else, he'd be worried, but she was far too good for her own good. If she had a fatal blow in her, she wasn't going to waste it on him.

"I'm here," he finally said, holding out the bottles. She looked them over, then grabbed the white bottle of the over the counter one, and he handed over the water gratefully.

"Thanks," she muttered.

She looked up, studying him now, teeth tugging at her bottom lip. He wanted to reach out and smooth the bite away, run his thumb over her lip- and no, he couldn't entertain those thoughts right now. She was thinking, and if he knew Kate (and he was sure he'd get at least a passing grade in a Kate test) she was about to suggest he take her home. Her going home, well that wasn't a destination he was running towards. He really wanted her here anyway, in a plain and simple way that had not a single thing to do with her being injured. However, with the injuries he knew he'd never be able to relax, not even to work on his boat, thinking about her home alone and struggling.

"You like eggs?" he asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms up over his chest.

"I-" she started, blinking up at him. "Eggs?"

"I was thinkin' about making some eggs," he said, with a shrug. He tried to play it off as if he offered her breakfast on a regular basis, as if he wasn't just sincerely hoping she'd give him the better part of her Saturday.

She continued to stare at him, and he wasn't sure if it was his roundabout breakfast offer, or that the fog hadn't actually fully receded from her drug addled brain.

"Eggs," she finally repeated, this time she was nodding. "Yeah, I like eggs."

"Good," he said, flashing a smile and carefully pulling her to her feet. "You can sit while I cook. Talk or somethin'."

This time, she didn't argue, simply held on and let him hop her down the stairs.

. **Kate**

Kate's tongue still felt thick, her mouth overly dry, despite the water she had downed with the pills. Gibbs had even refilled the cup-after depositing her in a sturdy chair he had dragged close enough to the stove to maintain conversation- and she had finished most of that one as well. Gibbs was facing the stove, his side to her, cooking. He let her ramble at him, while he nodded from time to time, letting her direct their one sided discussion. He just looked so... _at home_. Kate knew that was a stupid thought, considering it was actually _his_ home, but she couldn't quite wrap her mind around seeing him so relaxed. When he glanced at her, made eye contact from time to time, he kept a faint smile on his lips. It made her feel safe, warm, loved.

Not that she thought it overly wise to add that to what was pouring her mouth.

What she had been trying to do, was work up the courage to ask if she'd done something stupidly embarrassing while she'd been high last night. She knew, to some degree, that she shouldn't accept the narcotics, hadn't done well with them in the past. The pain was insistent though, and the doctor so kind, that she had taken them with little protest. Kate only took comfort in the fact that she hadn't done something so bad, at least, that Gibbs had dropped her off at her house without looking back the second she awoke.

She had trusted Gibbs absolutely, hadn't really thought about the fact that maybe she shouldn't trust _herself_ around Gibbs, until after the pills had already reached her stomach. After they hit, she didn't remember much until this morning. Her faith in him was still rock solid, it was only what she might have said or done towards him that made her want to bury her head and hide.

But she was Kate Todd. She didn't hide, didn't run, and while neither actually helped her be brave enough to just outright ask, it did allow her the strength to finally stop talking and look him over

It didn't take him long to notice the silence, jarring even to her, even knowing she had chosen it. He was reaching for plates, before he looked over, and paused. His eyes were searching her, and then he returned to pulling the plates down and grabbing mugs to add the freshly brewed coffee into.

"Kate?" he asked, glancing at her. "You okay? Still hurtin'?"

"Gibbs," she started, fingers wrapping carefully around the coolness of the glass. She eyed it for a moment, knowing he had already turned his attention to her, but unable to process the words she needed.

"Yeah?" he asked, and she could hear the faint scrapping of food coming off a pan, and she realized as her stomach growled that she was actually pretty grateful he was taking time out of his Saturday to cook her breakfast before he dropped her off at home.

"Thanks for last night," she finally said. "And I just-what I mean to say is..."

The smile of his face grew a little wider, seemingly ignoring that she had lost her part of the conversation somewhere between the chair and the coffee pot, and he carried off the plates to his table in the other room. She bit at her lip. So, maybe she chickened out. She couldn't quite figure out how to ask if she threw herself at him, without actually admitting that was a possibility even if she wasn't on medicine

He dropped off the mugs, and then the two of them managed to get her moved in front of the table. She looked down into her coffee, surprised he had the milk to alter it when she knew that he took his a little closer to the consistency of tar. She looked up at him, and he shrugged and started eating. It was almost nice not to be expected to talk, with Gibbs conversation wasn't currency used to keep him there or interested. More and more, Kate was finding that silence was welcome, especially when it involved the two of them. She wanted this moment, this feeling to last a lot longer.

"Want to move to the couch?" he asked, and she wondered if she was so transparent or if it was a lucky guess that she really didn't want to leave."Lot more comfortable. Can prop your leg up for a while."

Kate looked him over, and he honestly didn't look like he was hoping she'd say no. He didn't look like he was angry she had called him, forced him to miss out on sleep (done something potentially embarrassing last night) or that he was having to care for her now. He just looked a little sleepy, and a little at peace, and she allowed herself to believe for a few moments that he was glad she was here, that he wanted her to stay.

"I should go," she finally said, but it was halfhearted at best, and she thought they both knew it.

"If you want," he said, giving a small shrug, but his eyes never left hers. "Or, you could stay. I can look after you, 'til you're a bit more healed."

What she couldn't allow herself to do, was think too much how she was really coming to enjoy the company of this man. The one who could go whole days with less than twenty words, who stood as strong as steel in the face of anything that came their way, and to be honest, was an ass when he wasn't also being sort of sweet (In his own Gibbs way).

So, instead of thinking, she nodded. Everything else that burned inside of her could just wait.

"Sure," she agreed. "I'd like that."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Somewhere down the line, I might come back and write the end I intended for this one, but for right now this is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy.**

The movement didn't even occur to Gibbs at first (though it really, _really_ should have). It was soft and slow, and done without any thought, and his brain didn't feel the need to bring him up to speed until he already had several minutes invested. The first time he caught himself doing it, he'd nearly jerked his hand away from the fabric of her pants, and had quickly searched Kate's face for any sign of disapproval. Her book had been pulled low enough he could see her smile, not a word of protest on her lips. Gibbs had gulped in a lungful of air, and forced his eyes to return to the pages of his own book.

He told himself it wouldn't and couldn't happen again, but as soon as his mind faded away to focus on the story, his thumb took up the pattern as if it had no intention to ever stop. Over her thigh, slowly, down the slope of her knee and back up again. The material of the pants he had loaned her were soft beneath the pad of his thumb, and he had never bothered to notice when he'd been the one wearing them. If he were a smarter man, he'd just move his hand away. He'd grip his book a little tighter, and there would be no chance he would find himself touching her again. Gibbs glanced at Kate once more, found her eyes dark and deep and plenty warm enough to melt his resolve right down to its core

 _Who needed self control?_

Heat found itself a home across his lap, brought out with such a simple touch. Gibbs pulled in a slow breath, closed his book silently. He knew he had to do something before the small shifting of his hips alerted Kate to just what kind of reaction he was having. Gibbs forced his mind to recall a list he had used ages ago, back when had less control of his body (at least in some ways, Kate brought out the teenage boy in him). The list itself could easily stretch out for hours, but it only took a few items to cause the heat to fade away enough he felt confident Kate wouldn't notice.

He looked over at her again. She had tucked herself behind her book, the only sound a page turning. The noise occupied the space in the room, and Gibbs felt taunted, dared, teased. He had to do something else before he leaned over, tossed her book away, and kissed her until they both forget the reasons this likely wouldn't work.

Another page turned, the paper loud and her breathing soft, and he might just lose his mind if he didn't take some action.

"I need coffee," Gibbs said, laying his book on his table. When all else failed, coffee could still work small miracles-like keeping his hands off Kate.

 _Fat chance._

Gibbs reached down, lifting Kate's legs gently, and putting them back into the seat he had vacated. She offered up no words to stop his departure, and when he reached the comfort of the kitchen, he felt safe enough to scrub a hand over his face and let out a shaky breath. Gibbs went through the motions of making coffee, settling his hips back against the counter, staring out into the other room. When the smell of the coffee finally started to replace the smell of Kate, his shoulders loosened, his hands uncurled at his sides. He couldn't see her from here, but he pictured her all the same. She looked like she belonged here, in his house, in his life.

Gibbs pushed himself off the counter, silently making his way back to the living room, needing to ...just see her again. Kate didn't hear him, years as a sniper once again to thank for his stealth. Kate had taken over his couch, hair fanned against the armrest, injured arm resting over her stomach while the good one held the book up into the light. She looked so close to what his mind had tried to recreate, but that would never compare to what he saw before him. Sunlight filtered in through his blinds, falling across her pale skin.

Gibbs didn't want to be so struck, but she had him in awe since the first day he met her. He had tried to be her boss, her friend, but she always kept reminding him that she was more. A challenge, a worthy opponent, the sort of person he could and did fall in love with.

He let out a silent breath, turning and making his way back to the kitchen. Gibbs pulled down two mugs, adding milk and sweetener to Kate's and then adding coffee to both. He sighed. She kept pulling him in her direction, had him so unwilling to even look away, and Gibbs had no doubt that the time had come to give in to what he felt, or walk away and pretend until he no longer felt anything at all. The second one didn't feel like an option he would survive.

But if Gibbs gave all of himself to her, he'd expect all of her in return. He didn't care about the broken pieces, or the bits that they both would rather not show. If Gibbs gave her his heart, risked everything for something that might fall apart, he would make that choice with eyes wide open. Gibbs didn't blink down the barrel of a gun. He just had to know his Kate would take on this next step with the same openness, that she would realize he _would_ make a mess of things, but he would never stop trying on purpose.

Gibbs grabbed the mugs, heat spreading into his fingers, and moved back into the living room. She looked up at him at once, smiled and pulled herself up on the couch. It squeaked as her weight settled again, and Gibbs sat back into the warmth she had left behind. Kate took the mug, eyes looking his face over, teeth pulling in her lip for a moment.

"I was just thinking," he said, before taking a sip of the coffee.

It burned his throat on the way down, leaving bitterness in his mouth. It settled in his stomach in the way he had come to know, but it didn't give him the words that were needed. Though, if his brain couldn't find them, he shouldn't be expecting the coffee to do him any favors.

Kate nodded, sliding over closer to him until their shoulders pressed right up against each other. Steam rolled off her mug, and her eyes flickered down to it, and then back up to him. _God, she was beautiful._ Her eyes lit up in the dying afternoon light, almost the exact shade of bourbon. He wanted a drink, wanted to lean in and kiss her and forget his heart might end up shattered in the end.

"Okay, "Kate said. A smile teased the corners of her mouth. "What about?"

"Stay the rest of the weekend," he said. He couldn't help the shrug. "If you want.

She watched him for a moment, took a sip of coffee, her tongue slipping out to lick the remnants off her lips. Gibbs swallowed, shifted, looked away. _She'd be the death of him without even trying_. Kate's hand slipped into the space between his arm and body, held his arm in a loose grasp. He felt her nod, head bobbing up and down against his shoulder. Gibbs moved his arm around her back, pressed a kiss to her hair, and then stared down into the murky depths of his coffee mug hoping maybe he'd find courage to say the rest before she gave up and walked away.

 **Kate**

Her back was warm, when she awoke (This so wasn't how she pictured their first time in bed together). Gibbs had one arm wrapped over her hip, holding her snugly against his hips. His pillow smelled like him, and she tucked her head into it for a moment, wondering if she could wake up like this every morning for a good while into the future.

Gibbs shifted behind her, exhaling against her hair, and grumbling out a noise of waking. _He was so much softer in sleep, more open._ Kate smiled, running her fingers over the arm that had her trapped, feeling the hair and the muscle under warm skin. She knew she had made the right choice in insisting he just share the bed with her. He had hesitated, before settling down stiffly on the opposite side. His breath had been rough and slow and she had stared at the wall for a long while until the desire to kiss him had faded to a bearable level.

Gibbs had scooted to her later, reached out slowly and wrapped his fingers around her hip and pulled her into him. He had pressed a kiss to her head, settled down beside her.

Kate thought back to yesterday, after she had agreed to stay, with a smile. The mugs had been emptied, placed in sink and she had suggested the boat at once. Kate had wanted to see it for some time anyway, but she couldn't handle just sitting there and pretending to read a moment longer(she would have wound up in his lap). He had helped her downstairs, settled her back on the steps and gathered up his tools.

The smell of sawdust had consumed even the faint, leftover, smell of bourbon, and she had been all too happy to listen to him give her a lesson. His hands had wrapped tightly around tools, his weight leaned easily into the work. And if Gibbs had been, in any way, hoping that his tutorial might lead to fruitful results he shouldn't have been working on the side of the boat she could see. He had given her a smile, paused in his words, and she had thought that he might know exactly where her mind had been. He had looked from her eyes to her mouth, breathing out a long breath, but in the end had turned his attention back to the boat. Another moment had come and gone. Kate had lost count of the times that they had almost broke over each other, before pulling back to their respective corners.

The familiar stiffness from places that still ached brought Kate back to the bed now. Whether she wanted to or not (she didn't) she had to get up and work them out before the pain became any worse. With a small sigh, she lifted Gibbs' arm, as slowly as she could manage. He shifted behind her at once, grumbling louder into her hair, breath tickling against her scalp. Warmth spread across her, settling low, as he nuzzled himself closer to her neck, then pressed his lips to her shoulder. She smiled, thankful that he couldn't see the results of such a small gesture. He tended to lean towards insufferable when he felt smug anyway.

 _Still, the touching and kissing were more than welcome_

"Don't go," he said. His arm pulled out of her grasp, wrapped low around her waist again, and pulled her back into his hips and chest. "Not yet."

He sounded rough and tired, and his fingers tucked a little further under her hip, his lips touching her neck this time before he settled. Kate still half expected him to suddenly snap to attention, to remember his rules, his boundaries and send her packing. Until then, though, she wiggled herself back a little closer, savoring his low groan with a smile.

 **Gibbs**

The sounds of the bullpen had faded away, the cold case file on his desk lay open. He moved his eyes over it, but the words might as well be in a foreign language (one he didn't speak) because he couldn't make them stick into his memory for even a moment. His brain had no room left, replaying Kate's sleepy morning kiss. She had pressed it to his lips, warm and brief, before rolling away from him and taking his half of the blankets along with her _. Damn, he missed her._

Gibbs sighed, dropped his hands to his desk and pushed his body to a standing position. His fingers flicked the file closed, and he slipped around his desk. If he couldn't concentrate, he might as well get some coffee. Tony sat at his own desk, pen gripped tightly in his hand, eyes rolled up to stare at the ceiling. His phone had been ringing all day, and Tony kept meeting Gibbs' annoyed glare with a shrug, that quickly turned to him drawing his attention away to pretend type on his keyboard. Gibbs regretted insisting Kate take one more day off, he could have used her backup here today. If nothing else, she knew how to make him smile through Tony's antics. Silence had never felt so Kate sized.

Gibbs headed past Tony's desk, stopping to add another glare when the phone started another round of ringing. Tony's eyes darted from it to him, his throat moving in a quick swallow.

"Sorry, boss," Tony said. He reached out, snatching up the phone and pressing it against his ear. On the other end, Gibbs could hear yelling, and while he had no doubt Tony deserved it, he nearly winced at the volume.

Leaving Tony to deal with his own mess (safest for everyone involved if he didn't get involved) Gibbs sought out what passed for coffee here. Normally, he wouldn't tolerate it. He'd leave, go get his normal stuff, and return to the office. Only, today Gibbs didn't think he would return. Not when he had Kate waiting for him at home, and the bullpen only offered bad coffee, stale air, and Tony's unending phone calls.

Gibbs filled a cheap paper cup with liquid light enough that it could just be dirty water. It tasted exactly how it looked, probably didn't have enough caffeine left in it to touch his addiction level, but it did occupy his hand. It worked, for now. He'd grab a real one the way home, along with dinner. He had plans for Kate, and Gibbs felt nervousness turning to impatience as the few short hours left seemed to stretch out before him.

It took all his willpower not to glance at his watch every two minutes (Tony would notice, even in the midst of his own situation) and Gibbs wanted to risk nothing. If Tony knew, Abby would know, and if Abby knew, he'd never have a moment of peace again-at least not until Abby had probed for all she could about the situation. He probably let her get away with too much, but he had a notorious soft spot for her too. It might not be the same as Kate's but it was squishy and obvious all the same.

And the whole office didn't need to know about him and Kate yet, damn sure not until he knew that he and Kate weren't in the same positions they had been when she left Friday afternoon.

 _Could he really be reading things so wrong?_

Gibbs headed back around, stopping at the sound of Tony's hushed argument.

"Listen," Tony said. Gibbs heard the chair shifting, Tony's voice growing tighter. "I know what I said...I'm sorry, Elizabeth. Just stop calling here, my boss is going to kill me."

Gibbs smiled. Tony seemed to live for trouble, but he loved the man, and it would take far more than these phone calls from women now and then, to end Gibbs' loyalty and forgiveness. Not that he would tell him that. He lost the smile, narrowing his eyes as he walked by. He couldn't let himself go entirely soft, just because he was in love with Kate. It wouldn't do him, or his team, any favors.

"Working here, DiNozzo?" he asked, as he settled back into his desk. "Or starting a dating hotline for when I fire you?"

Color touched Tony's cheek, and Gibbs felt satisfied that he would get the situation under control. He always did. By tomorrow, the phone calls would stop, Kate would be back and his work life would be back to normal.

"I got to go, Elizabeth," Tony said into the phone. His next sigh took a long time to finish, the knuckles on his hand turning white before he glanced at Gibbs. "No, don't call me, I'll call you."

If he wasn't _so_ inclined to not let his agent know he cared, to let Tony make his own mistakes so he actually learned from them, he'd give him a lecture on how to treat women. But Tony would learn, if he let him dangle in the air long enough, and the knowledge kept Gibbs silent.

Gibbs dragged himself though another hour (He didn't remember a word of what he read) and finally decided that he had enough. Gibbs glanced at his watch. Tony could use the break and another two hours of work might actually make him say or do something obvious in his impatience.

 _One day only, she'd only get his whole mind today._

Tomorrow Gibbs would be the same boss he had always been. The smiles he shared with his team would be mostly unseen, he'd be stern and unfair and he would make them the best damn team in the office. Tomorrow, he wouldn't leave work just on the chance to kiss her _._ Tomorrow, he'd be Gibbs the boss. That ship had already sailed for today.

"Go home, Tony," he said, getting up and putting the file in his drawer.

"Boss," Tony said. His eyes sought out Gibbs' face at once, searching for any of the normal warning signs that preceded a smack. "She won't call again."

"I know, Tony," Gibbs said. Tony shifted, swallowed. Maybe Kate was having a positive influence, because right now he didn't have it in him to make Tony suffer. "Bright and early tomorrow, DiNozzo.

"Kate'll be back?" Tony asked, shutting off his computer and grabbing his pack.

A smile just touched Tony's lips, his eyes falling back to Kate's desk as they had many times today. Gibbs wasn't sure how he had not seen it, somehow overlooked the obviousness of Tony missing Kate's presence too. They were a family first, always, no matter what else came their way.

"Yeah," Gibbs agreed. "Go home, get some rest."

"Got it, boss," Tony said, before heading around the corner and waiting for the elevator.

Gibbs counted down the time, until he knew that even a delaying Tony would be long gone out of the parking lot. When he felt satisfied, he tipped the poor attempt at coffee into the trashcan, and pulled on his coat. Tomorrow, the world would shift back to normal. Tomorrow, Kate would somehow have to be both the woman he loved and his subordinate, but for once, he decided to think of nothing but tonight.

 **Kate**

The shower had been needed, long and hot, and washing away the trail and the fall and the bad of the weekend. She thought, after using his shower gel, that she had still managed to keep the good close enough to her skin even now. Kate reached out for a towel, feeling the tightness and familiar pain as she leaned her weight into her ankle. She might be on desk duty for a couple days, but had Gibbs actually sent her home instead of insisting she rest...well, it wouldn't be the first time her stubbornness had held up progress.

Wrapping up, she stepped out into the room, tucking the towel in on itself and running her hand over the mirror until she could see her reflection. Her reflection smiled back at her, and Kate wasn't a bit surprised.

She brushed out her hair as best she could, knowing that she really had to go back to her apartment soon. The only pair of clothes she owned in Gibbs' house were currently folded up in the chair in his room, and work would be waiting on her tomorrow. She didn't imagine dragging herself in Gibbs' sweatpants would work in any universe, but the thought of Tony's face if she did, made Kate laugh anyway.

Kate shook herself, grabbing Gibbs' robe (it felt old and worn and washed into softness, something she was coming to associate with all of Gibbs' at home clothes) and pulled it on, tying it up carefully. Kate opened the door, stepping out when she heard the front door close. She moved down the hall at the only speed her ankle would allow, grabbing the gun from the bedside table as the sound of footsteps drew closer, the last stair at the top creaking away a position.

She spun around, pointing at the intruder.

"Just me, Kate," Gibbs said, raising his arms up. She could see his gun at his hip, his eyes were wide, and she felt a short lived satisfaction that maybe she had actually scared him. "Just me. It's okay."

She lowered the gun, then turned and set it back on the table. He stepped closer, reaching out and touching her shoulder.

"You're early," she said, turning into his touch.

He looked down at her, eyes moving to her weapon. It would be easy to miss the smile, but the amusement in his eyes wasn't hidden at all, and she thought (even if he'd never say it) he might be just a bit proud she had been about to shoot him in the chest in his own home.

"I am," he agreed. "DiNozzo's phone had me thinkin' of you."

Kate blinked. She wasn't sure if he had been trying for a compliment, or just making a very odd statement, but she was fairly she sure she should feel flattered he had thought of her at work at all-even if it had some connection to Tony's phone (which could mean a lot of different things with Tony).

"Thanks?" she said. It wasn't supposed to come out as a question, but she couldn't quite get passed her confusion.

He smiled down at her, fingers running down the arm of his robe, until he found her hand. _Not shooting him had been the right decision._

"Brought dinner," he said, giving her hand a small tug before he let it go again. "You might wanna dress. Or not."

He quirked up his lips, ran a slow, appreciative path down her body with his eyes and then stepped back. Gibbs spun away from her, heading back off again, the stair telling his steps before Kate had time to process.

She drew in a breath.

 _Time to call a bluff._

She triple checked the tie on the robe, looked in the mirror to ensure that everything important remained under the cloth (she might be calling his hand, but that didn't mean she had to expose herself in the meantime) and headed off down the stairs.

It took a little longer than normal, but she let the smell of Chinese lead her to the dining room. There were two beers on the table, containers set before chairs, and Gibbs was busying himself pulling out chopsticks when he heard her. He looked up, let out a noise far too close to a whimper for Gibbs to ever have willingly allowed out, and swallowed several times.

"God, Kate," he said, eyes stuck on her.

She would have thought he hadn't just seen her( wearing exactly this) a few moments ago, the way he stared.

"It's just you said, I could just come down like this," she said, shrugging, dropping herself into the seat and reaching for the beer. "It's comfy. You don't mind?"

"Mind?" Gibbs repeated, handing over the chopsticks as she reached for them. His hands still worked at least, even if his brain seemed to be stuck a minute behind.. "No, don't mind."

She grinned, opening up her box, and digging in. She hadn't eaten today, in favor of cleaning up and showering.

"Was going to cook you dinner," Kate said, taking a swig of her beer, then shrugging. "Another time."

He nodded, smiled slightly, still looking off balance. It looked good on him, took years off his tired eyes, and she would have to strive for it more often.

"Soon," he agreed, swallowing down a mouthful of food.

They ate the rest of the meal in silence, Gibbs' eyes finding hers now and then and looking away at once.

Kate gathered up her trash, finished her beer with a long pull, and limped off into the kitchen. She heard him behind her, before he had her gently pinned against the counter as he reached around to drop his trash in the trashcan. His chest moved against her back as he drew in a breath, and then she felt his weight shift back off of her.

"Turn around," he said, fingers running over her robe, her hip.

She turned at once, letting out a small sigh of defeat, that came with the reward of seeing how dark his eyes had become. His eyes studied her, ran over her face, her lips, and then he smiled.

"Gibbs," she said, reaching up to touch is face, her heart hammering in her chest

"Not runnin'," he said. His voice was only a whisper, he leaned more into her space.

She didn't want another wasted moment, another could have been.

"Don't," she said, closing the distance between them, sliding an arm around his shoulder. "Just kiss me already."

He grinned, full and dark and like he'd just been waiting this whole time for her to ask. His lips pressed against hers, slow and soft at first, then harder and more demanding. He tasted just like the food he had eaten, and it didn't do a single thing to slow the rush of heat that overtook Kate's body.

They really, _really_ had to talk (Mostly her, while Gibbs listened, she imagined) but first she would have to figure out how to let him go again. His fingers came up, working on the tie of the robe, and she chuckled at his low growl of frustration at the effort she had put into the knot.

Gibbs pulled back, breathing hard, letting his fingers fall away.

"Like to take you upstairs," he said. "Later...later wanna show you somethin'."

Kate could only grin, as he pulled her closer again. There was no way she was running, not when he had finally chosen to stand his ground.


End file.
